Brown Heart Club was founded in 2020, after our daughter died. Our daughter, Kit, was born on May 16th, 2020 and she was taken off life support and died on May 19th, 2020. When we left the hospital, we were overwhelmed in so many ways. Overwhelmed with grief and how unbearably long each day felt. Kit's dad, my husband Brian, and I felt like we had fallen off a cliff.

Each night, my mom and I would text each other good night and we would send a brown heart emoji, which we decided meant, "sh*t sucks but I love you very much." This was our way of trying to make sense of each day. A brown heart in a text became something more as it circulated through our community of friends and family. A brown heart to check in. A brown heart to let us know someone was thinking of Kit. A brown heart to start a conversation about grief. A brown heart to say it was a hard day.

As time passed, a brown heart was a shorthand assurance that we're never forgetting Kit, but we welcome glimmers and better days too.

I created the Holding Space meditation booklets as a way to put something into the world that memorializes our daughter. In the days, weeks and months after her death, I found myself using little short meditations to wade through grief. I wrote them down eventually and slowly edited them to become this meditation collection. The beautiful illustrations are the work of Emily Kelley of Land and She Studio. Brian has taken the booklet and created this website for me and for Kit.

I hope this meditation collection finds you if you can use it. Everyone is on their own path but you're not alone.

With all my love,
Hanna Laney